"Let go, or be dragged."

Forgiveness.
A simple word. Much easier said than done.
Forgiveness is often a hard thing for me to accomplish, and I hope that I can develop more fully this Christ-like attribute before the next life.
I don't like being hurt. betrayed. confused. or disappointed. Especially by those who I love the most; to whom I have given my trust.
Who does like that? Nobody.
I, myself, am far from perfect. I've made mistakes, I've hurt peoples feelings, I've had to ask for guidance and forgiveness from the Lord on many occasions. So why can't I accept that people do the same, and have the same problems as I--even maybe far less? Its not that I don't accept it--that's not exactly the word I am looking for...hmmm...its just that I have a hard time not over-thinking/looking into things and taking someones wrong-doings as a personal stab to me...even if it has nothing to do with me.
I let it control my every thought. every action. and at times I have make a permanent decision on a temporary emotion. I'm impulsive. I get scared, I run.
I read a quote today:
"Don't treasure up past wrongs, reprocessing them again and again. In any relationship, festering is destructive; forgiving is divine (see D&C 64:9-10). Plead for the guidance of the Spirit of the Lord to forgive wrongs . . . , to overcome faults, and to strengthen relationships." -Dallin H. Oaks
Forgiving is divine. It's a release, a Christ-like act, a burden lifted. If you love someone, you should forgive them..with your whole heart, and never look back. NEVER look back. Especially if a sin has taken place before you met the person.....or, if they have had a change of heart and have used the atonement in their lives and have been forgiven by our Savior..nonetheless, always forgive.
I love this devotional talk by Elder Busche, its six minutes long but it is the best talk I have ever heard and it has impacted me deeply--I challenge any of you reading this to watch it..you will not regret it.

"Never judge anyone, when you accept this..you will be freed."
"If someone hurts you so much that your feelings seem to choke you, forgive and you will be FREE again."

Its not easy to be immediately unaffected by those who have wronged you. It takes time to heal, just like any other wound. But, if you really think about it--when you are unforgiving, you are no better than the sins that the person has committed. Do not dwell on past mistakes that your loved ones or yourself have taken part in.

I know Christ atoned for ALL sins. I want to be more forgiving, so that I can be comforted and feel the Spirit as often as possible--I NEED that in my life. I am no better than anyone else, I too have my problems. And I have seen the destruction caused by those who refuse to forgive..I want to rise above that, and accept that people have temptations and fall--that is exactly why we have the atonement.

I try to live my life how the Lord would want me to, but I know I mess up--sometimes I speak harsh words or verbally give painful jabs..and that is a trial that I must conquer. I don't always have to be right. & again, I want to be more forgiving..I need to let go, or be dragged.