I've just gotta say. . . . this whole "missionary" thing? Yeah, its not an easy thing.
People keep saying, "well, what else are you going to do? You just have to do it."
Yes. I get that.
But while I AM doing it, there are times where I feel like time is just plateauing..staying in place. NEVER.ending.
Its not easy living across the street from someone I dated for four years and having to run into his obnoxious self every. single. place. I. go. plus, the awkward run-in with his roommates and girls he dates who know that I am THE Genny. and him calling you religiously, texting you like its going out of style...BEGGING for you to give him another chance. There are some lonely nights where I'm like maybe I should just give him...and then I snap out of it and think A SWIFT KICK TO THE FACE.
Its not easy being told over and over and over again, "you'll be married by the time he gets back." Obviously they're jolted RM's who got dumped by their girlfriends while they were serving missions..but still. My game face can only be so strong. Sometimes I just want to be like, "Even if I was available, I still wouldn't like you"
too mean?
Its not easy being tormented by this certain little click of boys in your ward who like to make fun of you for "having a missionary"...what does that even mean? "She has a missionary". He's not mine. He's not a possession I just don't understand that phrase. "Do you have a missionary?"
I just wanna say, "Do you have an issue?" If you do, take it up with my fist.
oh and this is my favorite. . . ..
when people say, "oh. you should date. just date and have fun."
I am dating, you weirdos.
and I don't even like it, really.
it's forced. and boring. and annoying.
because it always turns out like THIS:
guywhoaskedmeonadate < JJ
EVERY.SINGLE. TIME.
like, there isn't even an ALMOST TIE or JUST A LITTLE BIT under JJ
its always JJ, like 59 levels above those who ask me on dates.
its pathetic, really.
but Genny, you should reallllllly consider dating other people.
You think I don't know that?
this ain't my first rodeo, people.
I know what I'm doing.
That's another thing. . . . . .
I'm going to wait for him. If I could sign right here and now I would--I would scream it from the mountain tops, or send a declaration to every person in the world, but welll...I'm not THAT dramatic. . . and, this is fine enough.
BUT, some people have this notion ingrained into their minds that I do this whole missionary thing for fun. yeah, its so much fun writing a million hand-written letters(hand cramps, duh), hearing your friends complain about not seeing their boyfriends for three days( buck up!), being a nun for 24 months...its a real blast, you should all try it.
wrong-o. not fun. So listen, If I'm willing to go through this awful ordeal once again. . . . that just goes to show how much I truly love JJ..and I'm 50000 x more devoted to him than I ever was with missionary #1.
so, how bout them apples?
Where am I going with all of this?
I do not know. I'm just ranting. I'm a crazy ranting lunatic right now.
I just awkwardly passed by my ex at the movie theatre, we just had to walk past each other...OUT OF ALL THE PLACES HE COULD POSSIBLY BE. I just hate it. I don't hate him, per say, I just want to get the heck out of this little college town. Am I being a drama queen? completely. It's fine though. I have the license to act this way....for the next 11.5 months.
oh. and I'm sick. and grumpy. sue me.
excuse the violence. I would never punch anyone. well. . . . . . .
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