He has flaws, I have flaws.

So, I went to lunch recently with my really good friend who waited for and married her missionary.
I asked her about marriage and how she was liking it. Of course she was loving married life, even though it was an adjustment to have a boy with you pretty much 24/7..but she also said something that struck me. "You know what I learned, Gen, is that he is just an ordinary guy. While he was gone, I put him on this pedestal. Yeah, he means the world to me..but he has his flaws, we fight, we argue..BUT, I think that when he was gone..I just expected him to come home and be this perfect man..but that was wrong of me to think. No one is perfect."

DO I do that? Well, sure. Of course, while JJ is gone I'm going to dwell on all of our great memories and all of his amazing traits--any normal girl is going to do that. BUT, I had to agree with my friend, it is also important to realize that they aren't perfect and they'll make mistakes, and sometimes they'll be really rude & you'll get in arguments. Just like we're not perfect, we cant expect or imagine them to be flawless.

I just want to look back on this blog post when He comes home (maybe he'll even read it), and remind myself that nobody is perfect. Who knows what will happen when he gets home; maybe he'll want to date other girls, maybe we'll both be confused..its a possibility. I can't expect someone or some situation to be perfect in any way. Am I right? I feel like, a lot of times, things dont work between missionary girlfriends and their elders..simply because they are naive to the idea that their guy, in fact, has flaws and struggles. Its important to recognize this. I was talking to my mom a couple nights ago about some things I have noticed about my dad as I have gotten older. I love my dad, of course, but there are somethings that he does that I don't exact agree with/care for. I just asked my mom, "gosh, how do you be around him all the time & put up with that?" She laughed a little bit, and then said something like, "marriage isn't perfect Genny. But, its all the good things about your dad that balance out the bad habits. All our memories over the last 25 years. But it hasn't been easy, but it sure has been worth it."

I know I'm still young, but I know what I want. I WATCH. I watch how JJ acted in uncomfortable situations, how he handled a stressful environment, keeping his emotions in check when he got jealous or upset by something/someone, how he expressed his feelings when I was hurt or sad and how he comforted me, I keep in mind all those things. And I am impressed by the man that he is.

With that being said, we have also had our difficult times. Our relationship obviously isn't perfect.
But its worth it because of all the GOOD times.

As much as I love my siblings, I also watch their relationships as well. A lot of times I don't agree with certain situations or reactions...but, it makes me realize how I don't want to be like, but also my siblings have taught me a lot about how I want to be--again, there are bad times and there are good times. I have learned so much from my parents' marriage as well as my siblings.

but you didn't date JJ very long. How do you know that he is the real deal? How do you know that he isn't "putting on a show"?

It might not seem like we've dated that long. But we have a lot of history. I met JJ two years ago from this month, and its been on and off since then. We stayed in contact, and after we broke up the first time..I told him that I knew that it was going to work out, and I had a feeling we would get back together in the future and he agreed. To those who don't know our situation, it looks as though we only dated for two months. Not really. But then again, I don't really need to explain myself. My parents met and married in a month; that's super extreme, but listen folks: when you know, you know.
if you want to know how "us" happened, here you go;
http://gennylgustin.blogspot.com/search?q=dear+heart+why+him%3F

I know he's the real deal. Enough said. We have been through so much these last two years. Yet, we never really truly got over one another. & then last summer, I saw a whole different side to JJ. I met his family, I spent time with them, I watched how his parents interacted with one another, I watched his siblings and their relationships..& I truly got to know JJ. We would talk for hours about our fears, dreams, flaws, pasts, presents, and many other things. I'm myself completely with JJ, because I expect the same out of him. We uplift each other..and I just know he isn't "putting on a show".

Thanks for being your true self, flaws and all. And thanks for loving me although I am extremely imperfect.

Here's to 14 more months. Love you babe.