His clothes are washed and sorted, the nursery checklist is complete, hospital bags are packed// But wait. . .

It's true. I'm a couple days over 37 weeks and I am DONE. The last thing on my list (that I am able to do right now) was to make a week's worth of freezer meals, and I completed that challenge as of today.

I even have Carter's diaper bag packed and my hospital bag put together.

So, now, we. . . . wait. 

In my waiting time, I also have a lot of time to think which isn't always the best thing for me to do. 

In my "thinking time", I wonder what Carter is going to look like, what his personality will be like, whether he will like me or not (of course he's going to flippin' like me, just look at me), and who he will decide to take to senior prom (Um, I'm not kidding). 

& then my thoughts always go into panic mode, and without fail, I'm faced with utter terror:

"AM I GOING TO KNOW HOW TO DO THIS MOM THING? AM I GOING TO BE A GOOD MOM? HOW AM I GOING TO LIVE OFF OF NEVER SLEEPING??" 

Yes, that is one of my legitimate fears-- sleep. Well, actually, the thought of never sleeping.
So instead of doing the logical thing of. . . . sleeping, I just lay in bed wide awake until 3 AM thinking about it.

I am so excited to be a mom. I love just thinking about this little half-me, half-JJ in my arms depending on me for everything. Just being so cute and helpless. I know that its the right time for me to be a mom, I know that everything is going to be OKAY. I know that its okay for me to be nervous about being a first-time mom. And its also okay for me to splurge on a 65 dollar outfit that my son will probably only wear one time (yes, I did that. This is a no-judgement zone, y'all.)

NOW. WE. WAIT. As if I didn't learn enough patience while JJ was on his mission. . .. I'll let you know if I survive these next 3 weeks.