What I have been forgetting: A Humbling Post

On Saturdays, my husband usually spends the whole day working. But, this past Saturday, he decided to spend the day with me. Our morning conversation went like, "What are WE doing today?"-him
"I thought you had to work?"-Me "Well, I could do that, or we could spend the day together." -him

Of course, I said SPEND THE DAY WITH ME, because its like. . . how many more of these days do we really have together before we become a family of three?

I have this list of thing I want to get done before the baby comes, I have done a fairly good job of getting through this list- - - but now I'm just "waiting" until we move into our house on March 12. On the list: Install the car seat. Literally, one of the most important things. Except for, my husband-- bless him, drives the car most of the time. And, literally, he thinks the car is a 1. laundry shoot (oh hiiii, dirty football clothes) 2. An office space (Anyone need a DishOne hat, polo, training packet, pen bracelet? We've got it all!) 3. Trash can . . . So, I have been putting off the installation of the carseat until the car is washed and vacuumed. I railed into him on Saturday, "YOU still haven't gotten the changing table painted, or the crib all the way completed, and . . . .yada yada yada" Totally just crushed him.

It almost ruined our day together; there was so much contention between us. Eventually we said sorry and finished our day by spending our Target gift card on some things for our house and our hospital bag. Another check off the list.

There are some things I have forgotten about as I have been irritated, anxious, and just plain uncomfortable. I have FORGOTTEN the blessings that have come already with being a mother.

I look in the mirror and I think, "gee, will I ever look the same again?" When really I should be saying is, "Gee, it is certainly a miracle that I am able to carry a child in my womb."

I wake up in the mornings, and I can hardly get out of bed I'm so sore. I think to myself, "Ugh. This is so uncomfortable. When really, I should be thinking, "I've made it through eight months of pregnancy without miscarrying-- my body is preparing itself for labor."

I say to those around me, "I just want him to be OUT already." When really I should be saying, "Come when you are ready, little man."

I have forgotten.

I have forgotten who's plan this really is. I am not in control. My older sister said to me. "Don't rush it. Remember that the Lord is still giving Carter valuable instructions." I never thought about it that way.

It's still not easy, this journey still requires patience on my part. I have a lot of flaws, but I know that the Lord is teaching me patience and long-suffering, I will bare the burdens of motherhood with confidence. I have been chosen to be Carter's mother-- and it's something I must never forget.