If you could spend two years in a "waiting girl"'s shoes....

Looking back at all the posts over the past 20 months really makes me emotional; some of the posts make me cry, others make me laugh. Going back to my first entry to now has really made me realize just how much I have grown up since Elder Hyde has been away, serving in Peru.

Now that I'm nearing the end, I would like to dedicate this post to all my sisters-in-waiting. . .
THREE WORDS: It. Gets. Better.

Each "missionary girlfriend" waits differently, but no matter the way, there are always going to be lonely nights, chick-flick marathons, tears, laughter, stalking the mailman, reading and re-reading each letter, kissing each picture, crossing your fingers that his mom will invite you to the family skype or phone call, turning down dates, accepting dates, running into "waiter-haters", avoiding dances at all costs, wanting to punch every couple who demonstrates any form of PDA within 80 feet of you, seeing missionaries and waving/honking/yelling/smiling/crying/scaring them because of your over-excitement, counting down the days until your man returns, despising every Valentine's Day and anyone who is happy on that day, wondering what he is doing, but most importantly. . . loving your man every step of the way....

When people ask me, "What's it like waiting for a missionary?" My first response is usually along these lines, "Its horrible, I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy."

That's when I usually get this blank stare, like..."you mean, its not some romantic experience where each letter is filled with magic and love?"


Nope. Most of the time the weekly letters don't come...weekly, the mailing service goes on strike,  there are weeks where he is so busy that his letters are about a paragraph long, and you also hear about termite infested toothbrushes, dogs with fleas, companions who don't know a lick about hygiene, and drunken men who chase your poor little missionary off their doorstep threatening to beat them up...you worry...

But here's the thing, its really not all that bad. 

You get to send cute packages and letters: (pictures are super out of order, but you get the point, ha!)

and cutie pictures that they absolutely DROOL over. 

And when the letters, packages, and pictures DO come. . . .they are everything you could hope for:

I pretended this hat is my favorite.  . . . its not. But I love him so I wore the darn thing ;)

Oh look, another hat. Its pink, he knows that's my favorite color. Ask me how many times I have worn it...

You buy all sorts of cute "waiting" gear and meet girls who are waiting too.

And life goes on.

The first three months are going to be hard. I won't sugar-coat it; they suck. 

Your family and friends will bring you balloons and chocolate, but after a couple weeks of that, you're on your own, sista, they expect you to bounce back and surprisingly, (for the most part) you do.

You never stop missing them though. I can guarantee that they cross your mind at least 10 times a day. 

On Mondays, multiply that by 20.

On Sundays, multiply it by 100. For some reasons, Sundays are killer. But counting the Fast Sundays until they return helps. TRULY, it does.

So, want to make this whole process easier? Here are some tips:

1. Don't stay cooped up in your room eating starbursts and watching the entire series of FRIENDS for 24 months. PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE. YES, YOU. YOU reading my blog, wearing your snuggie, eating marshmallows, and keeping a box of kleenex's nearby. Go take a shower, do your hair, put on some makeup, and call up your girlfriends. Your man is hard at work, remember that.

2. Take some kind of RISK. Whether it be skydiving in Hawaii, or applying for college. DO, DO, DO. Start a project. Take up deep-sea fishing. Volunteer at a summer camp. PUSH YOURSELF.

3. Don't be afraid to date. Date up a storm. You'll learn something. I am completely pro-dating. But, don't force it either. If you're going to be miserable on these dates, steer clear. But not going on dates just because you "feel guilty" is crap. He's on a mission, ladies. You're here. TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT WORLDS. So get out there, go on a group date, loosen up, and you wont be socially awkward when he gets home. Does that mean you've got to kiss every guy you go on dates with? No. Is it okay if you do kiss someone? Yes. He's not going to come home and be like, "Oh, you went on dates and kissed a couple guys? Welp catch ya later." TRUST ME. He's going to be ecstatic to see your cute little self still wanting him after all this time. Do you know how many Dear John stories they've heard over the last 24 months? You're still here. AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS.

4. Work out. You're going to want everything perfect when he gets home, that includes yourself. I gained a good 10 pounds after JJ left. Over the past 6 months, I have worked out 5-6 times a week and feel so much better about myself. Working out is a stress-reliever, a confidence booster, a challenge with great reward. Stick with it. And DO NOT compare your body to others. Heavenly Father has blessed you with a beautiful body, appreciate it. 

5. Don't become a distraction. Your man doesn't want to hear about your date with Joe, or how depressed you are without him. . . .you can definitely tell him that you love him. But leave it at that, sister. TRUST. You want their full attention on the work. Don't be that girl that writes 50 letters a week and sends packages every week. Sorry for being so blunt, but I see waaaaaay too much of that going on.

6. Don't be upset with your friends and parents for not being "understanding". You can't expect them to console you every time you don't get a letter in the mail, or you miss your sweetheart. Its just not something that other people can really relate to. To them, two weeks apart from their significant other is challenging, they're just not in the same boat as you. Don't get mad about it. Instead, hole yourself away like a hermit, dress in all black, and fill your room with Enya and gothic-like candles.

 JUST KIDDING!!! It is completely appropriate to be sad sometimes and want to be alone. But, just think of it this way. . . .HE WILL COME BACK, and he'll be hotter than ever, more spiritual, and love you 100 time more than he did two years ago. Get it together. Again, tears, missing him, avoiding social settings, is OKAY once in awhile. We're human, we're going to feel this way.

7. Fall in love with his family. If they're difficult, that's one thing. But, if you're holding back just because you're "scared". . . DONT. His parents raised the love of your life, get to know them. Become friends with his sisters. Babysit his nieces and nephews. They will (hopefully) be your family someday. Love them, and do it because you WANT to. Always be 110% yourself. Having his family on your side makes things a million times easier. 

8. Grow, learn, mature. Read your scriptures. Attend your church meetings. Fulfill your callings. Follow the commandments. Apply the atonement in your life. Remember how much he is going to grow, if you aren't growing, the relationship will fall apart.

Welp. EIGHT. eight random tidbits of advice. 

That's all you need.

Hold strong. Although my man has yet to return, I am hopeful that him and I will rekindle what we once had. We have written over 80 letters. Send dozens of pictures. Kept our love alive.

I am crossing my fingers. 

But here's the most important thing. If it doesn't work out, what have I lost? I have fully enjoyed my life since he has been gone because I haven't been idle. I haven't been sitting on my hands. I've done something with my life. 

Where are you at right now? Take an evaluation of your life and what you're doing with it. Would he be proud of you? 

Nobody knows you better than yourself. Shut out those that want to take you down. You're better than that. Remember that MOST wouldn't even consider waiting around two years for someone. Many don't accomplish the task. RISE ABOVE IT. If people question you dating, tell them to mind their own business. But seriously. It doesn't matter. Be honest with yourself, be honest with your missionary, be honest with the guys you date. You don't need to explain your reasoning to anyone; do what makes you happy. If dating is a way to pass the time, do it. . . just don't hurt those other guys in the process, make it crystal clear that your heart is somewhere else. Like I said, every girl waits differently. And nobody can judge how challenging the "wait" truly is until they've been there. . . so just shake it off, and step up!

And that's that.