Q&A/Advice post.

So, recently I had some girls come to me for advice.
they asked me some good questions.
I know that there are a lot of girls waiting for missionaries that occasionally look up my blog.
SO..I thought I would share some of the questions and my answers.
Who knows..maybe it will help someone else, or maybe you will all laugh in my face and say,
"Wow this girl is a LOSER." Either way, I still like you ;)

What did you do when your first missionary came home? Did you still have feelings for him?

I dated this guy for two years before he left on his mission. We were best friends in high school. I wrote him quite frequently for about a year and three months. I would be lying if I said I wasn't anxious to see him. The night that he was flying in from SLC, I was babysitting for JJ's sister. I passed the airport on my way home, and saw a flight landing..that I'm pretty sure was his. I imagined his family and friends all waiting for him to get off the plane and how I was supposed to be there. My stomach got all twisted up and I felt kind of sick on the way home..I cried a little bit, and reflected on some of our past memories. I knew I had to see him again to know if JJ was the right one for me, or if I was still in love with missionary #1..So, even though I thought "#1" hated me, I received a text message from his brother's phone at 2 AM..two days after he got home..he asked if we could meet up. He came over and we talked, but not about anything about us. He was still way awkward. Long story short, I didn't KNOW the first time that I saw him..I had to be with him multiple times to know where my heart was. I knew that, now more than ever, I needed to stay close to the Spirit. So I prayed and prayed..The Lord didn't give me a thing! Until one night after I saw "#1", I was driving and a strong thought came to my mind, "Genny. You already know the answer..." "#1" was crushed when I told him how I felt about JJ..because he felt like he had a chance with me. It was hard for me because it was closing a huge chapter in my life--I was really freeing myself from him, and we were going down different paths. Do I regret it? HECK NO. Do I think I made the right choice? Nope. I KNOW I made the right choice. So, there's the short version of my crazy story.

My advice is simply this. If you find yourself in a situation similar to mine...follow your heart. Every time that I hung out with "#1", I compared him to JJ--I was always disappointed after I would see "#1" because I was like jj would never have acted like that..I was stuck in this cliche "I-want-this-happily-ever-after-high-school-sweethearts-together-for-years" love story..but, that didn't happen for me. I've made my own love story..I was trying to get "#1" to be my prince charming, when really..I wasn't his princess. So, if you're confused where your heart lies "look to where your mind wanders"..it was always JJ that I wanted. If they had been side by side, I would've ran to JJ's arms. & you know what, that's not what I wanted it to come down to. So I ended it when I did with "#1" and I felt a huge boulder lifted from my shoulders. Heavenly Father really knows what he is doing. Want to make Him laugh? try and make a plan. But seriously. If you don't wait for your missionary...its not the end of the world--I promise you! Not every girl who has a missionary magically transforms into Hailey Haugen or Cinderella--this is real life; keep that in mind, if you don't wait--its obviously because you have found someone better fitting for you. JJ came back into my life four months before "#1" came home--what if I would have fought against those feelings I had for him? I would've lost the best thing in my life...

Do you date?

Yes. I do. I date..a lot. I go on group dates, single dates. I'm too social to not. I like the attention way too much... to not. Let's be honest, who doesn't like getting dressed up, being told you're pretty, and getting a free dinner once in a while? For me, it makes time go by faster. The key thing is: Be honest with your feelings, and don't lead the poor guys on. That was my bad sometimes...when JJ first left, I kind of kept him a secret almost. I HATED when guys would find out, or I would casually bring it up and they would be like, "How long has he been out?" I'd be like..."four months" and what do you think they would say? "Oh you'll be married by the time he gets home." Just stupid stuff like that. Now, I usually bring it up on the first date..if a good opportunity arises..some cons to dating:
1. a lot of lonely nights when your roommates have boyfriends and all you have is ben & jerry
2. angry guys when you turn them down because of your missionary and they retaliate with stupid comments and suggestions about how to go about your love life.
3. guys who say they're better than your missionary. yea, they don't know him. dont worry about it.
4. confused emotions/feelings...
5. eh..that's all I can think of right now
Pros:
1. time goes by faster
2. you're living up these two years by growing and having fun experiences
3. you wont be anti-social when your boy comes home, you'll still know how to go on dates because lets be honest, after two years--the boy is gonna be EXTREMELY awkward at first.
4. you make new friends
5. free dinner

Now, I know that dating isn't for everyone. BUT, again..my blog. my advice. I would say to go on dates. I would say to flirt with other guys. I would say to get prettied up from time to time. Just do it. You wont get these years back. AND I can guarantee, its not going to change the way your missionary feels about you..they want you to be having fun and making new friends. If they were in your shoes, I can almost guarantee they would date around. Its natural. Trust me, you're okay.

Should you tell your missionary if you hold hands, cuddle, or kiss another guy?
HEAVENS NO! They've got enough things to worry about. Keep that stuff to yourself. They're busy baptizing people and reading their scriptures. If you feel like its something that needs to be brought up, wait until he gets home...even then, its not going to matter, he'll just be THRILLED you're available after two years instead of married and pregnant (unless your boyfriend hasn't learned anything whatsoever on his mission/is controlling..in that case, RUN!). You're here, he's there. Unless you're one of the few that is engaged to your missionary...hmmm, I don't even know what kind of advice to give those who are...just good luck I guess??

Are you going to go on a mission now that the age has changed?
As of right now, no. I'm not going to go on a mission just because JJ is on one and it will make the time go by faster. It is a serious decision. One that I feel many MG's are taking a little too lightly. Do it for the right reasons. Go on a mission for the Lord and for your spiritual growth. Pray about it. Fast about it.



Take it or leave it. :)