Untitled.

Three and a half months down. That may not seem like a lot, but its moving fast--I promise. I will be twenty years young in five days. JJ sent a package home from Peru, and there were a few gifts for me, which is like the greatest birthday present EVER. These last few weeks sure have been stressful. Awkward run in with a guy who I dated for 3 years, who is now back from his mission...finally, had closure with him and I feel so much better being able to finally fully move on from that. I put all his letters and our millions of pictures from high school in a big box and had my mom put them in storage..not because I can't move on but because I do want to remember those good times. He was my best friend, he is an amazing person, and I would never talk badly about him...he's just not the man I'm supposed to marry. Ever heard of the song by Garth Brooks titled, "Unanswered Prayers"? Yeah, that about sums things up. 

Life is good. Life is busy. I am working and spending time with the family, I go back to school in a couple of months. I'm not ready to date. I don't have the desire to so I'm not going to waste my time or the time of others. I cant even think about it yet..I'm sure I will go on dates eventually..actually, in all honesty, I don't know if that's true. I don't like thinking about going on dates..it just feels wrong to me. We'll see how I feel once I go back to school..but, you see, its a personal choice. Unlike,some girls writing missionaries, I am not "promised" or "engaged"...I think that is the dumbest thing ever..what does "promised" even mean? I think its selfish and shows insecurities. JJ and I love each other, duh. Isn't that enough? Its so much better this way, its carefree and easy. If I go on a date (IF), I wont feel guilty about it--because there is nothing to feel guilty about. I'm finding joy in the journey. I'm thankful for his letters, and I make sure to write him every week BECAUSE I WANT TO..I love telling him about funny things happening in my life, or about my new calling at church. I love telling him whats going on with my family and my goals. He shares scriptures with me, and helps me to see Peru through his eyes. I don't have to prove anything to anyone else; we know how we feel about each other. Bring on the Dear John stories and the waiter haters--it doesn't affect me. Heavenly Father has a plan for us, whether it is for us to be together or not..but I know that I'm choosing the right path and I am being blessed for that. This is not a hard thing to do..Yes, we're apart PHYSICALLY but I still feel him here through his letters. He is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me..I'm not going to let that go. and I'm definitely not going to forget.

http://vimeo.com/31673669
^^Click on the link above. kk thanks.

This is worth it. I can do it. I love him. 
Watch me prove them all wrong..
That's all there is to it.